Friday, April 1, 2011

Let's Talk About Sex -- to Babies

We started talking to our kids about sex extremely early.  Sarah is 9, Abby 7 and Cooper just turned 5.  They obviously know different things for each of their ages, but they probably know more than most kids their ages.  We have a few ways and reasons we have done this that I will share.

1.  Unless there is an unexpected question, Chris and I are both present to engage our children in the discussion.  While there will be a time for dad/son and mother/daughter discussions, for now, we want them to understand there is nothing private or embarrassing about what God has created and that we are not hiding anything from each other.  Another reason we both engage them in conversation is for future accountability.  If only I talk to the girls, they may feel they are free of accountability from their dad and vice versa.

2.  We want our kids to hear the truth from us before they hear a warped version at school.  At school, they may hear another parent's version, a friend's older sibling's version or what someone has seen in a movie.  We expect fully they will still hear those things, but hopefully, they will think back to what they were taught here for what is true.

3.  Sex will always be an enticing topic, but we believe teaching our kids here will take away some of the curiosity.  Maybe when it's news to everyone else, our kids will be bored with   trying to overhear lunchroom conversation.  Maybe they'll think my mom and dad talk about this at dinner all of the time.  :)

4.  One of the rules for our kids is that they can ask anything they want.  Anytime a question or curiosity arises, they can ask.  They can ask us anything BUT they may not talk to their friends about sex.  It is conversation for home.

A few more things...
We are not naive enough to think this will cover or take care of all issues we will face in elementary school with sex.  This is simply our way of dealing the best we know how.  Also, we have had some uncomfortable conversations.  We get crazy questions and comments!  We have also had some of our funniest talks with our kids by being open and honest about sex. They keep us laughing.  If only I could share something that was said yesterday, but it's too inappropriate to blog!

One of the resources we have used is called Facing the Facts, The Truth About Sex and You by Stan and Brenna Jones.  There are four books in the series covering different age ranges.


  1. We have the same philosophy...I heard Mary Flo Ridley speak on the topic when Jack was an infant, and I am so grateful for her wisdom!

  2. Us, too. Maybe when they hang out, they'll be sharing the same info.