I struggle with arrogance. I think I have all of the answers, and I can do things on my own. Sometimes I tend to be a little arrogant with my cooking. I'm not even a phenomenal cook, but when I do something well, I want others to experience all the joy my family looks forward to each night at the table. (We had tacos tonight).
This is teachers' appreciation week at our school, and today, we provided the teachers with a meal. I signed up for desserts for both of my girls' teachers. But, this is the deal -- in signing up for their teachers, there is an understanding that the dessert may go to the faculty or staff member who has also been assigned to our class. When I got to the school with my still warm, fresh baked apple pies, I handed them over to the moms in charge. Then I asked if they knew who would get my pies. Why didn't I just walk away? I even hung around the 1st grade basket and persuaded the mom to give my dessert to the teacher rather than an assistant. Did I mention this happened today? I'm embarrassed to even be typing this. The mom left to take the basket to the teacher, and I stayed to give the other basket (with brownies made by someone else) to the assistant. I didn't know who it would be, and I still didn't know her when I handed over the basket. She was so grateful and continued to say, "Did you do this for me?" I felt a little uncomfortable, but the magnitude of what I had done still had not hit me.
While I was cooking dinner, the favoritism I had shown toward my child's teacher hit me like a ton of bricks. At the time I was making my unfair decision, I wasn't intentionally withholding from the assistant, but I was definitely showing favoritism, and it was at her expense.
I've continued to be broken all night. For that, I'm grateful. While at the table, I told my family what happened. When I was finished, Abby, my 7 year old, asked if she could pray for me. Sidebar: Abby does not show a lot of emotion. She offers to pray the least of our children, and she appears (appears is the key word) to be the least spiritually involved. Abby prayed for me personally, but she also said we look forward to mom making a pie for that lady.
I'm grateful that I can't do things on my own and that I don't have all the answers. I'm grateful for the blood that covers my shameful favoritism as well as the other sin issues you probably recognized in this post. I'm grateful for a 7 year old that cares enough to pray for her hurting mother. I'm grateful for the built in accountability of children. I'm grateful for do-overs, so that I can try again at serving a well-deserving teacher's assistant.
My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism. James 2:1
Oh, here is the stupid apple pie recipe if you are interested. It's my mom's anyway, and when you see how easy it is, you'll really thing I'm dumb for being arrogant.
Frozen pie crust (2) one for bottom, one for top
1 can apple pie filling
1 stick butter
1/2 C sugar
cinnamon to taste
Cane sugar for topping
Dump the apple pie filling into the bottom crust. Cut up half of butter onto apples. Top with 1/2 C sugar and as much cinnamon as you like. After top crust has thawed a little, put it on top of the filling. It's ok if it falls apart a little. Cut up the rest of the butter on top. Sprinkle more cinnamon with cane sugar. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-45 minutes depending on your oven. I like for the crust to be really brown and all butter to be baked in.